Robber-Bot

The Bot's an infiltration unit, part API, part machine. Underneath, it's a hyper-alloy combat chassis - micro processor-controlled, fully armored. Very tough. But outside, it's running on Windows Vista and so fucks-up big time.

Supposedly controlled by living human tissue - flesh, skin, hair, blood... The 600 series was poorly designed. I spotted them easy. But these are new, they look like they can be controlled by humans with sweat, bad breath, everything. Very hard to spot. I had to wait till it moved on my account before I could zero him.

Listen, and understand! That Bot is out there! It can't be bargained with. It can't be reasoned with. It doesn't feel pity, or remorse, or fear. And it absolutely will not stop, ever, until your bank has been emptied!

... Yes, my new bot ran amok today and absolutely would not stop - managing to pump 84 bets into a Turkish Division One match between Denizlispor and Elazigspor in the space of five minutes. Luckily I caught it before it did any serious damage to my bank as it was on a mission.

What I can't understand is that I had set it to bet with only a single £10, but the figures it was pumping out were all utterly random. I can't make head nor tail of it. Anyway, as I say, I managed to catch it before it's rampant efforts broke me entirely. I shut it down by shoving a pipe bomb in its torso, but that only slowed it down a little. Finally as it crawled incessantly towards another back bet, I had to crush it's skull in my wife's mangle. That finally did the trick.

When it was dead, I closed-off all the opened positions (which were plentiful!) and got away with a red of just £23. Whew!

The rest of the evening was, happily, less traumatic and I'm now in the process of building my T-1000, advanced prototype bot. A mimetic poly-alloy, or liquid metal version. It can't form complex machines, guns and explosives that have chemicals, moving parts, it doesn't work that way, but it can form solid strategic dutches.

Now what can possibly go wrong with that?


Football: £84.83 | Tote: |  Total P&L:  £84.83 

 

Football Showing 1 - 6 of 6 markets

Market Start time Settled date Profit/loss (£)
Football / Osasuna v Atl Madrid : Correct Score 30-Jan-12 20:00  30-Jan-12 21:54  50.46
Football / Oldham v Chesterfield : Correct Score 30-Jan-12 19:45  30-Jan-12 21:43  41.16
Football / Oldham v Chesterfield : Over/Under 2.5 goals 30-Jan-12 19:45  30-Jan-12 21:41  8.97
Football / Oldham v Chesterfield : Over/Under 1.5 Goals 30-Jan-12 19:45  30-Jan-12 21:41  4.85
Football / Ivory Coast v Angola : Match Odds 30-Jan-12 18:00  30-Jan-12 19:54  2.82
Football / Denizlispor v Elazigspor : Match Odds 30-Jan-12 18:00  30-Jan-12 19:54  -23.43

Just some of the bets that my bot decided to make

Couldn't fit them all in the picture!