Waving Your Willy

Okay, I'll warn you now so that you're completely aware. I'm in full ranting mode tonight.

Came across a blog this evening (I won't say which one) in which they have posted up a lovely picture of their "setup". Oh, and guess what? Yes, that's right. They have four screens in a dedicated office. Indeed there is even a little caption stating, "Where the magic happens".

Oh for fuck's sake. Do me a favour!

This person may well have four screens to do their trading, whoopy-doo, but it just seems mightily curious how the same picture of someone's "setup" seems to be all over the internet. All these traders must live with each other.

Apparently everyone who trades on Betfair has four screens and a computer that goes like a Japanese bullet train. Of course they all have a separate office space and dedicated broadband lines too.

Yeah right. What makes me really laugh is that the one I saw today has a £100 bank and plonks it all on 1.03 "certainties" and is compounding. Why on earth would you need four screens for that? I could do that on a phone, for crying out loud, while ordering a pizza from the local takeaway at the same time. I could probably knock one out too if I had to.

Just to be clear, I don't have four screens. Here is my "setup":

Cool, huh? Now that is what I call willy waving. My little beauty goes like a bat out of hell but please, I implore you, don't be jealous. You can't all reach this level of hardware.

In all seriousness, I have one PC, one screen and - if I'm trading in front of the telly - one laptop. I don't have a dedicated broadband line, so if my daughter is in her bedroom downloading a 50 terabyte video from YouTube, I have to scream up the stairs to tell her to "get off" as my kit slows down to a snail's pace. I have no separate trading office - unless you count my lounge, which is often like Piccadilly Circus and where my youngest daughter often comes in and says, "Oh no, you're not betting again, are you?"

The truth is, we don't all have the perfect setup and most of those who say they do are full of shit. The funny thing is, most of us don't even need this mystically magic setup that, somehow, helps us all make shed loads of money. Yes, the breaking news is that, if you can't do it on one screen, then you can't do it on four either. Maybe you can lose four times as fast, but that's about it.

So, please, less of the bullshit, less of the bigging yourselves up and perhaps a bit more self-honesty and honesty towards those you are addressing. Afterall, we're all pretty much the same as you anyway. We're all just muddling along.

Okay, I'm feeling more drunk by the minute, so I'm going to get back to my glass of port and my packet of McVities Cheddars now. I'll crawl back into my box and leave you in peace.